Doing my part to help make America the 33rd best country in North America.
Tried making Chex Mix without pretzels, but discovered that a huge part of the experience for me is picking through each handful and setting the pretzels aside. I really missed it.
I took second place in a jump rope competition when I was 12.
I think I peaked too early.
You guys should have seen all the fries I ate in my nap-dream this afternoon
Let’s get some things out in the open before this week comes to a close:
1. When I said that I “stayed at home reading” instead of going to your party, what I meant was “I had a new comic book that I didn’t really understand the backstory for and needed to check the forums. Also, your parties suck.”
2. When I said that I “already have dinner plans” so I couldn’t meet you for tacos, what I really meant was “I don’t have pants on and I’ve eaten so many Kettle Chips that I can neither put them on without washing my hands, nor stand up without touching the chair to gain my balance. Also, I don’t want to be seen in public right now.”
3. When I said that I “have to get up early tomorrow to run errands” so I can’t talk right now, what I really meant was “Dude, I just started the Matt Smith episodes of Doctor Who and I need to concentrate, don’t bother me with your inane real life issues. Also, this is like the fourteenth time you guys have broken up, give it a fucking week.”
<Whew> That feels much better.
Just came across a mysterious note in my phone that simply reads:
"Most of these broken plates were"
…and then cuts off. Most of these broken plates were what? What happened to the plates? Whose plates were they? Why were the plates broken to begin with? Were they EVIL? And the word “most” leads me to believe that not all the plates were broken under the same circumstances. Why would there be broken plates from multiple sources in the same place? Who’s doing this? Why don’t I remember encountering them? DAMMIT MAN, TELL ME ABOUT THE PLATES
The first time I heard Notorious B.I.G. show up on Band Of Horses radio I decided that I was done with Pandora
Currently ordering a drink that I can’t pay for because I forgot my wallet. About to find out which of the people at this table are “keepers.”
Wish my dick and my heart were into the same things